As an NYU student, I am not only privy to harassment by the rest of the city, but also view of the latest fashions, thanks to my trust-fund classmates. (Yeah, even NYU kids hate NYU kids).
Which is why I bring a screwdriver to classes, in preparation to gouge out my eyeballs every time I see the latest, most unfortunate strong-hold in clothes: flannel.
Now I understand, we as humans have a weakness toward patterns, enthralled by the intertwining colors and shapes. But flannel? Didn't we try this experiment in the early '90s? It ended in suicide and the Stone Temple Pilots - which is like ear murder. Why must we traverse these murky, unshaven waters again?
This whole '80s come-back with the kick-ass, crazy-neon-colored Nikes, pink skinny jeans and the chicks with the baseball caps was all any human could ask for. It was nostalgia done in a timely manner - we waited 20 years to look back at the proto-humans of the Reagan era, nix the parachute pants and keep the cardboard-on-the-sidewalk break dancing, beats, and graffiti.
But like a World War II joke in Germany, the flannel and chucks is too soon. I'm still revisiting Run DMC, why do you have to remind me of Kurt Cobain?
Flannel on guys is one thing - fine, they can do whatever they want, they get points for just buttoning their shirts on straight. But come on girls, lets pull our acts together, when did it become cool to be a French-Canadian lumberjack dyke? Unless you're eating pussy in the Deep South, in a place like Mayor's Income, Tennessee, the look is completely unacceptable.
To top it all off, Chucks are shitty shoes that make everyone's toes bleed and wear out in two weeks. So let's all take a lesson from history, put away the F-shirts, and move on to bringing back how we all dressed 3 years ago.
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